How to Get Fired
No one likes getting fired. Unfortunately, it’s a potential side effect of being in the work force. Whether it’s a mismatch between the employer and employee or it’s a serious miscommunication of skill sets and abilities, losing a job can be a traumatic situation for anyone. As with all things, however, there are ways that you can create padding for the blow, should the hard conversation happen to you.
Obviously, you’re going to want to do your absolute best in any job by ensuring that you are a valuable employee. When that no longer seems like it’s the case, you may want to consider the best possible exit route. Here are nine ways to get fired THE RIGHT WAY:
1. Get to know EVERYONE.
Know who everyone in each department is. Know what their role is and familiarize yourself with what they do. Establishing a sense of familiarity as early as possible will demonstrate that you are a team player and make it more difficult for your company to fire you. This will also tip you off for any potential departmental changes, a thing that can often lead to a few future layoffs.
2. Watch for the clues.
Downsizing, interpersonal issues between fellow employees or employers, as well as an increased volume in questions surrounding the intricacies of your role and work flow are key indications that you may be on the chopping block. Be aware that they may be looking to train someone else and seek to understand why that is happening.
3. Don’t be a gossip.
A lot of people in an office setting like to share their personal views on what’s going on behind closed doors. Don’t be one of those people. It is never good form to be part of the rumor mill.
4. Keep your desk clear of any personal belongings.
There is nothing more humiliating (or exhausting) than having to pack up a high volume of personal items from your desk. If you think that the hard conversation is coming, make it as easy as possible for you to get out of there as quickly as possible.
5. Clear your browser history daily and save any contacts.
Everyone will take the occasional trip to Facebook or Buzzfeed in the run of a long work day; you just don’t want your previous employers to know that. You always want to leave them with the impression that you did your best and worked your hardest at all times.
6. When they sit you down for the conversation, don’t engage.
Listen intently. You don’t want to plead for another chance or explain your actions to them. They have already made the decision and you won’t be able to talk them out of it.
7. The only GOOD response is, “Thank you for the opportunity.”
This is professional, to the point, and will be appreciated by your employers. Like ripping off a band aid off, this is quickest way to allow both parties to move on amicably.
8. Get out ASAP.
Getting fired can be a very emotional thing, but don’t say goodbye to other co-workers and try not to expose your poker face. It can very awkward for everyone if you choose to hang around, so let it all out once you have made your way out of the office.
9. Don’t immediately reach out to your fellow employees.
It can seem gossipy if you flock to your previous co-workers for support after the fact. Wait for them to contact you. You will be surprised at how many care enough to take the time to send a personal email or Facebook note.
Remember that no matter what you may think, every employee has an expiration date (especially if you are a contract hire). All employment terms come to an end sooner or later, and if the firing date happens sooner than you expect, you can face the situation with as much grace and dignity as possible.
Being fired can be very humiliating, but always treat it as a learning experience. Sometimes it has very little to do with the employee themselves, but has more to do with the fact that it may not be a good fit. Remember to pay close attention to what is being said to you and ensure that you use it as a tool to develop your skills as a good employee. You will often find that the toughest job experiences are frequently the most valuable.